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Fost Chosen as Trump’s New Lawyer

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Fost Chosen as Trump’s New Lawyer

In the fantastic world of politics, where tweets fly faster than facts and alternate realities take the stage, Donald Trump has introduced us to many colourful characters. But none is as intriguing as his new legal advisor Avvocato Fost.

According to Trump, Fost has never lost a case in the USA which given he’s never had one is actually true (not that facts are of any importance to Trump). Anyway, given the number of lawsuits that Trump is having to defend in New York, it might be a very clever idea appointing an Italian lawyer. Although many were expecting an Irish one, certain families in the state with Italian roots seem to have an influence in who is selected for Juries, so maybe this is why Fost was chosen.

One of the main problems for Fost is that he does not speak English, but he says that is no problem as using the latest technology the whole defence can be conducted using AI. Not only will he not have to speak, he won’t have to think either as a computer will do this for him.

When asked about the Stormy Daniels (she’s a pornographic film actress, director, former stripper and a very good friend of Trump…allegedly), Fost says this would be an easy case. Firstly she was paid to open her mouth and now she’s being paid to keep it shut. $130,000 is more than fair…so what’s the fuss all about. If Trump had come to Bologna he could have got a the same service for under $100 (so Fost’s friends tell him as obviously he has no personal knowledge of such things), so actually Trump should be getting a refund.

As we know, not long after Fost was appointed his lawyer, Trump was elected president again and many have credited Elon Musk’s support as being the biggest reason he won. However, more informed sources have said that Fost was behind most of the planning. At the time the attempted assassination seemed like a risky strategy, but it all worked out just like Fost said it would. Given that Trump cannot stand for a third term it’s rumoured that Fost might stand in 2028. Although the requirement for all presidential candidates is that they were born in America, Trump has always maintained that Barack Obama is African and there are a lot more Italian Americans than there are Kenyan Americans. In the meantime, Trump will surely be committing plenty of new crimes to keep Avvocato Fost busy over the next 4 years!