Fost Chosen as Trump’s New Lawyer

In the fantastical realm of politics, where tweets fly faster than facts and alternate realities take the stage, Donald Trump has introduced us to many colorful characters. But none is as intriguing as his new legal advisor Mr Fost.

According to Trump, Fost has never lost a case in the USA which given he’s never had one is actually true (not that facts are of any importance to Trump). Anyway, given the number of lawsuits that Trump is having to defend in New York it might be a very clever idea appointing an Italian lawyer although many were expecting an Irish one. However, certain families in the state with Italian roots seem to have an influence in who is selected for Juries, so maybe this is why Fost was chosen.

One of the main problems for Fost is that he does not speak English, but he says that is no problem as using the latest technology the whole defence can be conducted using AI. Not only will he not have to speak, he won’t have to think either as a computer will do this for him.

When asked about the Stormy Daniels (she’s a pornographic film actress, director, former stripper and a very good friend of Trump…allegedly), Fost says this would be an easy case. Firstly she was paid to open her mouth and now she’s being paid to keep it shut. $130,000 is more than fair…so what’s the fuss all about. If Trump had come to Bologna he could have got a the same service for under $100 (so Fost’s friends tell him as obviously he has no personal knowledge of such things), so actually Trump should be getting some money back.

Anyway, only time will tell is Fost will be successful in defending Trump. It is all a bit irrelevant anyway as Trump will soon be president and Stormy might be wife number 4. Rumours are already circulating that Fost could be in line for the Vice-President post when Trump is elected. Another theory is that he could be selected as Biden’s lawyer in all the inevitable sex cases which he’ll have to defend once he steps down (or more probably falls down) from office. 2025 should be a very interesting year for Mr Fost.